poo

throwing large objects at draw is fun
he wriggles and worms out of my aim until i get what i want him to do.
handy.
sacks pink spiders got mad at me today again, i never seem to make her happy.
or maby she never seems to make me happy.
the spiders crawled to me today, they wanted to hurt me, wanted to shh me.

boot was grumpy today, "that father of yours, hopeless"

and i was stable today, giggleing at the thought of being alone for the rest of my life which scares the shit out of me but all i can do is giggle because i know it is my fate and that is just how sometimes you must deal with fate, you must giggle.

i pick up the cold potato on my fork and put it in my mouth, blue shoes pours pink liquid in our tea and says
"drink up."
this isnt like the tea i make sack at home when her knees hurt, this tea makes you sleep with your eyes awake as you move unmotovated through the day.
the potato fills my mouth and i try to swollow but instead of down it gos up, up onto the table, i pick it up, no one sees and try again.
"go down"
it falls on the floor
"go down, go down, go down!"

i sit in my room that is not mine listerning to blue shoes pitter patter up and down the hall way.
black birds peck at the window from the outside and perch in each corner of my room watching me.
they want my red sticky.
i open my mouth slightly to inhale, i cannot close my mouth, black bird after black bird flock into my mouth
craw craw craw
they make a nest out of tiny sticks in my mouth and place their neck down my throat and drink all my red sticky, drain me of life.
"GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT, FUCK OFF, CAW!CAW! GET OUT!"
i lay there screaming this until blue shoes come in and hold me down and poke needel into the bone and presssss and thick mud pumps into me
thump thump thump