puzzles.

"i rode into town just to see his face
the only face that keeps me sane
as my hair blew gentaly in my hair and my eyes stung slightly in the fresh air
i began to dream, a dream for the awake.
how did i get myself into this, and now here i am, running away from myself into the dream of his arms. His breath so sweet and warm on my face when he looks into my eyes with his.
on my bike i pass feild after feild, i pass smileing horses and grazing cattle.
leaves dance in the wind, and the afternoon sun shines off a tiny lake in the passing feilds.
only 6kms now.
everything looks fresh after last nights rain and i begin to wonder why he is my escape.
my little legs feel as if they are about to break, it is dusk now.
now the nights sky drains over me and i begin to cry.
he is escape from my real life, my perents abuse and their dissapointment. from my schooling and the pressure in my small town, the disaproveing smile for the people in town, just one mistake and it turns your life upside down. sometimes it dosnt even take that.
i have never fit into anywhere other then his arms, like a puzzle peice that had been missing from my life.
its raining now. it always rains here at night, gives our farmers new hope and our town fresh water to drink, anythings better then the drought.
my dress is soaking and my hat almost covers my eyes, my hair is flattened on my cheeks and my feet are covered in new mug.
i ride faster. into the darkness on this dirt road.
im in town now.
i slow my pace but look straight ahead. the streets are filled with loud music and the calls from strange men in pubs catch my ears as i pass.
i ride through the park to get to him quicker.
on the path i cannot see ahead of me, so i ride into this new darkness that fills my head with fear.
my pace is still slow, my teird legs can hardly move.
i collaps. my head hits the ground hard and my body and legs tangle in my bike.
i lay there, for too long, the pain seeps slowly in and out of my body. i see blood on my baby blue dress and i slowly take my hat off still lying down.
i lay there, for too long.
this was a stupid idea i think to myself as tears once again fill my eyes with this self hate.
the type of tears you know are for other reasons but you can only blame them on yourself.
my head thumps from the fall. thump. thump. thump. in time with hearts in the pubs that i passed, in time is foot steps walking in the streets.
foot steps getting closer. thump .thump .thump. louder and louder they get as the thumping in my head is replaced with panick.
thump.. thump. thump.
his cold hands are on me,
his short laugh fills the air. the short laugh of a stranger, the cold hands of a man.
i cannot move in the fear. my body to sore to fight back.
a fight i would surely loose if i was well. his strong heavy body presses agenst mine.
after the pain he leaves me. with his short laugh trailing after him,
i dont know what to do. that was not new but never with a stranger, never when i did not want to.
i lay there and let the rain wash away my new feeling of disgust, i feel so dirty.
i lay there, for too long.
then something inside me kicks.
this is what happend things get bad and i run to him, my puzzle peice.
i got up and staired down on my dirty dress that mother made me for my birthday last year.
blood, mud and rips cover my once best dress.
i know i look a mess and my puzzle peice will possibly run at the sight of me. but i get up pick up my hat and continue the path on foot.
the path gos quick my head rushed with too many emotions to think straight.
the path in the park leads to a big open street filled with shops. he works late in that shop just there. he works alone tonight and i am normaly welcome.
i limp in the direction of the store. the music from the pubs cannot be heard here and the only sounds are the rain on the pavment and my brused feet slowly stumbleing across the road. to the store that he works in.
im at the door. he has his back to me, my puzzle peice. i am still crying and the tears seem to flow more then i see him.
i knock once quietly not to startle him. he slowly turns around
and there he is, my puzzle peice, my escape, my world and my only joy.
he stops when he sees my dress stops and then picks up his pace to the door with worry pasted on his face.
he opens the door and there is a small pause, he just stairs at me with his big brown eyes and my tears flow even stronger.
then he kisses me. he has never kissed me like this and it makes me feel warm in this rain.
"come inside and we will clean you up love."
he says holding my hand and leading me into the store
my puzzle is compleat."