boy and sea.

i offered myself to the sea.
for him to take my soul and all of me.
i offered myself to the sea.
and he looked down and swollowed me.
down down down deep i went.
all the time we shared and spent.
down down deep i went.
everything was gorn, everyone who ment.
so i lived my life as the sea.
the sea was i, i was the sea.
everyday came, and everyday would be.
until one day a young boy offered himself to me.
he offered himself to the sea.
for me to take his soul and all of he.
So i took his life and set him free.
he swam through me.
he swam through the sea.
he was in me, i was a part of he.
he lived there for a while.
he lived his life in denile.
he lived in the sea for a while.
one day the young boy said to me.
"why did you offer yourself to the sea"
"why did you offer yourself to the sea"
as my waves crashed down onto all that could be.
and they gave their lives to me, the sea.
they gave their life to the boy and the sea.

When I die, fuck it I wanna go to hell Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell It don't make sense, goin' to heaven wit the goodie-goodies Dressed in white, I like black Tims and black hoodies God will probably have me on some real strict shit No sleepin' all day, no gettin my dick licked Hangin' with the goodie-goodies loungin' in paradise Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice All my life I been considered as the worst Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion I know my mother wished she got a fuckin' abortion She don't even love me like she did when I was younger Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes? Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies) I swear to God I just want to slit my wrists and end this bullshit Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit And squeeze, until the bed's, completely red I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddah head The stress is buildin' up, I can't, I can't believe suicide's on my fuckin' mind I want to leave, I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me Naw you wouldn't understand when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back Should I die on the train track, like Remo in Beatstreet People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me My baby momma kissed me but she glad I'm gone I reach my peak, I can't speak, call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak. I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin', matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'.

poka dots

my eyes want to fall out of my head.
once again i sit here on a saturday night.
no one to hold
no one to talk to
im alone in this world and that scares the shit out of me
and i know one is going to save me.
its stange how i always picture what could be.
everything about him interests me, so unusual he is.
but it would seem he dosnt want the same as me so im chucked back into the deep end gasping for air.
i wish the world would just let me drownd.
instead you pull me up with your fishing rod of hope.
pull me up
put me in your safe boat where everything seems ok
size me up, gut me out.
then throw me back.
there are plenty more fish in the sea but when do i get to do the catching?

"you look terid darling?" said boot his hand agenst my blushed cheek
"im not teird, i have been crying."
"crying? why?" the expression on his face turned to worry as his hand slung to his side.
"becuase yelling dosn't fix everything."
his face turned to stone and he slid out of the room without a word.

Clementine

Take me out
Take me home
Take me
anywhere I walked a hundred miles
so I could
give a dog a
bone

It's alright
I don't
mind
I'm just running
into
something bigger than the
something
that I left
behind


Oh my
darling
Oh my
darling
Oh my
darling
Clementine


Turn the
water
Turn the
water
Turn the
water
into holy water


You
are restless
Very Young
Got a
message from your mother
said to
tell you
she'll be coming round
the mountain when she comes

Oh
my darling
Oh my
darling
Oh my
darling
Clementine


Turn the water
Turn the water
Turn the water
into holy water



Oh
my darling
Oh
my darling
Oh
my darling
Oh
my darling
Clementine


Turn
the water
into a little bit more
time.

Take me out
Take me
home
Take me anywhere
I walked a
hundred miles
so I could hear
them play your song on the radio.

I walked a
hundred miles
so I could hear
them play your song on the radio.

ant hill

its upsetting but today i found that this is the way i have to live.
under someone
always someone with more power
always someone smarter and better then you
we are all tiny ants in this big bad world.
when will you get squashed?
so many rules we must live by, being threatened and blackmailed if we dont obay.
not much has changed since when hitler rules.
just there are more hitler like people in our moderen world that we hadly notice them anymore
it is fate that until we discover a way we can all live as one in peace that we shall die in the power of another.
as much as you try and reble, as much as you try and be yourself and inndependent.
your not
someone always looks down on you.
we are all scum in their eyes and there is nothing we can do about it.
these tears have rolled down my cheeks caused by another too many times.
this heartless world will be the death of me as friday the 13th sinks in.
squash!

stupid.

its strange.
given the tinyest bit of hope we live on how people can expect so much out of life.
when we put something to mind and are given incouragement or infuenced in some way that this may actually be possibly we normaly take the challenge on no matter how stupid or unlikely it is.
as we get older our minds mature sure but we still do things that other people say are more likely to happen then when people are negitive about the out come.
we all want so much.
money can buy happiness and for the person who said it could not your quite a silly man for money is this world.
money rules us all. if you have millions of dollars or nothing it still have a greater power over all of us.
from our first pocket money we become a slave to it, and will do alot of stupid degradeing things to get it

hope and money
the two things we live by
the two things that contoll us.
shame i have neither.

blah blah blah blah blah
toddaayyy was just fantastic i took photos of my cat and bought pandora for myself becuase im too ugly and emo for a boyfriend.
had lots of fights with mum and went swimming in yucking poo infront of pretty boy
iv pretty much lost the plot.
i would upload a shit load of photos i just edited BUTTT photo bucket is being uber homo so i guess we are all just guna have to wait to see my shit house photoghraphy
nighthththt
afdisahd[s

golly gee

no body likes me mabey if i cry?
listerning to tegan and sara trying to get my head around this sting in my throat that happends every time feeling are let out and im left ever more lost that i was once befor.
i have no idea what im doing in life right now, no idea where i fit it.
i know what i want to do, who i want to be with and when i want this all to happen.
but who i want to be with is out of the question, and what i want in life is happening to fast i havnt got time to think about it.
i have my week, everything happeneds at the same time
in the same place.
and this repeats throught the year.
i have no idea what im doing.
iv managed to cry for the last week also everynight because im a jelouse whore.
i dont know what im feeling and i just want someon to guid me becuase my guide got sick of this tour and quit so im left stranded in the middle of know where with no map and no clue, in unknown land that you need a hand to hold in.

help.