needs

i dont remember when the last time i felt like this was.
the last time i craved to hold a person
the last time i thought that i cannot do this alone.
i cannot do this alone.
and i am lonely.
im and scared.
so so scared that every part of me wants to shut down or run away.
because this world is too big for a little girl like me
and it has swallowed me hole. iv become a victum to its everything and all its ways.
i cant remember the last time i needed to cry on someones shoulder
my pillow normally is the only one i have.
but i miss being loved i miss being told im something, i miss being something to someone.
becuase right now im nothing more then a joke , not a very funny one, just a joke of a human, a joke of an earthing.
im useless and a waste.
i cant remember the last time i missd.
i dont know who i am anymore
and i dont know who my true friends are anymore.
you all change so fequently
do things i wish you didnt
hurt my feeling for stupid resason.
your so heartless.
its like i dont matter at all.
and im slowly seeing i obisly dont mean a thing
not to you and you and you
and as i sit here in tears wishing i was dead
i cant remember the last time i needed to be loved.