well that didnt last long lol
its crazy
i hate myself that much that no matter how happy i can get
reality always comes crashing down and my lack of selfconfidence and self hate creeps into the smallest cracks and makes me upset.
i dont think this will ever turely be fixed
i think i may be stuck with this problem for life
i push everyone away until finaly im left with knowone
and then
when someone actualy wants in
when someone actualy sees me as a friend
i get scared
because i know that no one ever lasts
and no one ever will
and my trust issues become a problem and once more i am pushing
pushing with all my might so im not hurt when it comes to the end
but i just realised
the only person im hurting is myself, i am the one left with no one
and in fact i am never going to make a difference in anyones life, no one is ever going too look back and be like wow
that girl was amazing i dont know what i would do without her.
no one
no one relys on me, i am unwanted, i am unworthy of anyones love
my past is so strong in my head, all the betraly
all the lies
all the pain and all the broken, still lays fresh in my mind, still paint to dry.
im broken
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