Wednesday, June 17, 2009

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Monday, June 15, 2009

swimming hole.

one time i dug a hole,
the hole didnt go anywhere
i just sat in it for a while
tears that sting your eyes
tears that stick to the back of your throat
you bring out the worst in me.
simply youll see that this is the way things have come,
things will always be, you bring out the worst in me.
the local authoritys tell us we are bad
tell us we are nothing more then shit and our mothers would be sad
one day i dug a hole
the hole didnt go anywhere
so i sat there for a while.
Why the fuck am i in love with you?
you have shown no interst in me.
im mearly a good laugh
someone you can use
why the fuck am i in love with you?
i like to sit in my holes on those days,
the days where all your problems are on me.
the days where im your tissue and you shoulder to cry on
talk about her him he or she.
the trust we had is gorn, burried in my hole
my hole
my hole in my garden that i sit in for hours on end
the hole where no one listens and all my emotions are spent.
the hole where i am not judged though i am no stranger.
the hole that fills with lies, bad words and danger.
the sun smells too loud
it pours down on me
the sun smells too loud
iv paied my dept, paied my fee.
sometimes my hole fills with water
so then i cant sit in it, its the way it has come to be.
because with all the skys tears in there
there is no room for me.

Friday, May 29, 2009

and drawing my cheeks in

Some days I actually pine for a sleepover and a polo shirt again. This year saw change. I started dying my hair lighter. I cut in a fringe and I started wearing drainpipes that hugged my legs and I suppose the same problems remained. They just got more complicated and they curled out further. My problems stretched out in the sun and they sent me a postcard to say that they hoped I was okay and "I'sn't Buenons Aires fabulous?".
Well, maybe this was bought on by a newfound ability to sleep alone, or apathy. I don't know.

I think new years begin in September, well at least for me they always have. I've always been fnd of September. Spring is never a good time. It's a trussed up and beautiful drag queen but autumn is real.
So in the "New Year" period I changed a lot and all the while I thought it such a great tragedy I never looked this good as a teenager. All the while I let a ferocity build up in me. I took it out on myself, the shorter my skirts got and the skinnier my legs bowed and the flatter my chest got and all the while we were sweethearts. I threw beautiful lines that I never knew I was even capeable of.
I counted green pills and cigarette ends. I stopped playing guitar and I let my fingers soften and my nails grown for a while. I started drinking more and keeping unusual hours. I started playing Street Fighter II, until my eyes felt like they were going to drop out of my head and then I'd get enraged by the fact I was never going to be good enough to play Hyper Mode and Blanka was always going to be stronger than Chun Li.

So maybe I should enlighten you on what happens in your absence. This selfish existance where this intravert turns extrovert and dons their social armour. I became the perfect party apprentice, with a PHD in sitting on kitchen counters and drawing my cheeks in and shooting you looks that I don't even mean. Hips that grind to scratchy indie hits and shoes that stick to nightclub floors...Well, you couldn't understand why I can't. You've never been up at four am with "The Fear". You've never laid on your bedroom floor half blind and you wouldn't love the girl that wakes up perspiring beer.

My life's a tangle of cables these days. Roads and train tracks are like wallpaper now. I started taking hundreds upon hundreds of photographs, all of which you were absent from. A detailed scientific investigation into light reflected on glass and I became invisible. Listening to Techno and Shoegaze in my room all alone and private parties all for myself. Slender fingers honed from MSN. An encyclopeadic knowledge of daytime television presenters.

Friday, May 8, 2009

rant

these familure tears steam softly down my flushed cheeks and dip from my quivering chin,
caused once more by this judge mental, unexepting world.
i dont want to be normal if that is what normal is.
if i were normal, if i were like you, i would simply neck myself.
to be widely socaly excepted in the expense of a unique soul, is far from worth it.
your veiws on life, your expectations, your prioritys, simply fucked.
so tell me what you hate about me because i hate everything about you.

Monday, May 4, 2009

crawdaddy

Cheating was his trade
a seller of lies
a heart so cold
he seemed to hipnotize

he always walks alone
crawdaddy simone

he had no axe to grind
you never saw him smile
but his look was good
he always dressed in style

he always walks alone
crawdaddy simone

He ain't got no one
he ain't got no friends
he ain't got any friends
he ain't no friends no
He ain't got no one
he ain't got no friends
he ain't got any friends
Just leave him alone
crawdaddy simone

maybe some black day
crawdaddy will show
and if you see him there
just you leave him alone
just leave him alone

He ain't got no one
he ain't got no friends


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Saturday, May 2, 2009

nothing more then my latest obsessions

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i think theres a few things you should see.


shes possibly the sexiest thing on earth, music is amazing. i adore everything about her.



ah these boys are amazing, simply own my heart.